A new to me concept: thin and thick desires.
A thick desire is one that changes you in the process of pursuing it.
A thin desire is one that doesn’t.
The desire to understand calculus versus the desire to check your notifications are both real desires, and both produce (to a degree) real feelings of satisfaction when fulfilled.
But the person who spends a year learning calculus becomes someone different, someone who can see patterns in the world that were previously invisible, who has expanded the range of things they’re capable of caring about, who has Been Through It.
The person who checks their notifications is, afterward, exactly the same person who wanted to check their notifications five minutes ago.